I hate the holidays. i really do. I hate people. I hate the fact that everyone wants me to go to college. I hate the fact i probably never going to see half my friends after high school. And I hate the fact people just dont want me to succede. So, I’ll address all my problems from the order I listed them in. Just a note– this might be long and I may have quite a few spelling erros but that is because im too lazy to go back and check and NIp/Tuck is on in 30 min.

So anyways. The Holidays. Look at it this way– Everyone gets all hyped up about what they have on their lists…which is basically a guideline for parents to look for cheaper versions of things without feeling guilty–well back to the lists.- and then on Christmas when you don’t get what you want your dissapointed. Its pretty much unavoidable unless your rich and get everything you want. Anf then theres the fact that everybody spends so much time decorating the christmas tree…and a few days after christmas you rip everything off and put everything in boxes unil next year. So you basically kill a tree, which gives us oxygen mind you, and all it represents is status. Who has the biggest tree?! Who has the most decorations?! Gosh! They must be really rich or really close! I don’t think people understand that Christmas is supposed to bring family and friends together for a day just to relax and be with eachother. But we made Christmas so commercial with all the advertisements and people needing to get this this this and that. its ridiculous.

SO second on my list is people! Oh god. If you attend Kutztown High please stand up and give yourself a round of applause for being so ignorant and self centered and FAKE. You know what? I was being quite ridiculous when i said people. Because honestly I hate people my age. Some toddlers. The rest of the people I tolerate. Like…especially ids my age because everyoe is changing and nobody is the way they used to be and i guess that is a good and a bad thing, but to me its mostly a bad thing. But I mean if people didnt change then we probably would be in our own little cliques like in middle school, afraid t open up and just sitting there with a closed mind. So I hate how people, especially popular people, look down on some of the not so popular people like their trash and they act like little princes and princesses…but in reality their like everyone else except maybe they look a little nicer or have more expensive clothes. beats me. im not popular. I really hate how people who are your friends can talk shit to your face but then talk worse behind your back. And how they dont help you when your trying to stop rumors by screaming things you regret doing in the middle of the hallway during lunch period. Elrt alone talk to the biggest mouth about your “problems”. See- this happened to me today. I thought i could tell my best friend something and we’re walking to our next class and she goes screaming what I did through nthe halls. And I mean i know i do these types of things, but im a teenager and i like to experiment, but on the other hand my brother is coming to the high school next year and he really is the biggest tattle tale ever…and i dont need him to find out and go tell my mom.

Well anyways. College. I don’t want to go to college. i dont want to sit in a classroom for hours on end listnening to a professor lecture on something im not going to remember tomorrow. I dont want to pay how many thousands of dollars for that and then not get a job in my field. Or theres even the possibility that im not going to like what i do and then be stuck doing it for the next 30 years of my life. instead of going to college I would like to explore careers and maybe if i find on i like i can further develop my knowledge on that practice through hands on work. Because thats just how I learn. I dont need books to tell me things when experience can. I mean college would be nice but i dont have the patience or the energy to deal with people my age for however long im in college. Like Psychology. and Biology are 2 things i like. but oh well. Im going to run out of time if I dont hurry my ass up on this thing.

My friends. After High School. This kinda ties in with everything because right now i dont know who my real friends are. i dont know who’s going to college and who’s staying in kutztown. I dont know much of anything. And my Grandfather thinks i should change my attitude on people because im never going to get anywhere with my views on people. but I think if I change my attitude I’ll be changing who I really am and I dont think people would like me being fake. Just to please one person I would be hurting other people and my friendships with them. ugh. And I know my friends will probably end up leaving Kutztown and ill see them im 20 bijillion years on some random street in NY like they do in movies…

And people, I think, are ttrying to stop me because I think that people, because most people who try to stop me are men, are chavunistic. Like Riding. I wanted to buy Victor but my dad was the only one against it. I want to skateboard and my poppop doesnt think its very lady like. but honestly, Im not much of a lady and thats okay with me, and obviously the people around me because the seem to accept me. With Victor, my mom was all for it but my dad was like “rawr rawr rawr no no no! You’l go broke” but my mom thought i would learn to be responsible. (thank you mommy :] even though your trying to cut my phone off from the one person who cares about my well being because he lives in canada). I dont know. My dad wants me to finish tech even though its not what I want. but I dont want to cook the rest of my life and he wants me to do something but once again I dont want to go to college. Oh WELL!

im out :]

It’s a luscious mix of words and tricks
That let us bet when you know we should fold
On rocks I dreamt of where we’d stepped
And all the whole mess of roads we’re now on.